How To Irritate Your Wife
There are a number of ways for a man to irritate a woman. Sometimes it happens without effort. However, we learn from our mistakes. Moreover, we learn from the mistakes of others. This gives you a road map of an area to avoid. Here are some situations that you may wish to avoid.
Pick a nice warm sunny day. Perhaps she is sitting outside on the patio. She may be using the cordless or cell phone. Now is the right moment to use your Poulan chainsaw. This will blast her back into the house. You will interrupt her serenity and phone call. This technique will annoy her. It also shows complete disregard for her feelings. You can get two annoyances for the price of one.
Here is another method for irritation. Pick a time that she is watching television. Perhaps she is taking a break from doing things around the house. The perfect time is movie time. She may be watching a DVD. It is better if it is something on her favorite female cable channel. Sit with her and watch the program for a while. You may not find this easy. However, it can pay big dividends.
It is now time to play the movie bashing game. Find as many things about it as you can. This should take about two minutes. Now ridicule and make fun of them. Mention how pointless the movie is also. The more things you can complain about, the better.
This is an indirect approach of insult. By insulting something she likes, you insult her. You also insult her taste in movies, and intelligence. This can go a long ways toward marital discord.
Now it is time to show disregard for her possessions. Do have some household tasks like painting to do? Make it easy on yourself and annoy her at the same time. Open your can of paint. Take her hand mixer, and use it as a paint mixer.
You will now have plenty of time to paint in quiet. You will be undisturbed. She will be at the mall, looking at hand mixers. You perform another dual task. You get a paint mixer and irritate her, with one selfish incident.
You may need some rest, after all of your hard work. You have made her life somewhat uncomfortable. You might try to apologize. This may or may not work. Try an insanity plea, instead. She might believe that. Find a black helmet. Cover it completely with aluminum foil. Wear it inside the house. She might ask you why you have it on. Tell her it is to repel the aliens. They want to steal your brain waves. This may get you 48 hours of quiet rest. You may be in a padded room, but it will still be rest.
Final thoughts
If you seek marital harmony, do not try these stunts at home. They are dangerous and should only be performed by a qualified moron. Learn from the mistakes of others.
PETROLZ + Art Yard informer
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